fresh start.

ok so i totally tottally messed it up. i lost like 5 kg first then i gained 7 back ..or something like that. im on 59 kg now..it is freaking disgusting. i cant stand myself right now. well i cant stand myself neways but the way i look now is horrible and summer is comin and im supposed to walk around in a bikini and look fine so boys turn theyr heads towards me and not away from me.
my boyfriend broke up..im really sad.
havent seen him for a week or so and today he texted me to say that he is gonna call me tonight..well im expecting my phone to ring any second.
i dont really want to talk to him. im too depressed and sad and hurt to talk to the one responsible for all that.
tomorrow ill start dieting again. ill go for a run first thing in the morning, then i have to go to therapy and then my best friend comes over to my place to study biology..well i have to explain it to her.
im scared that im gonna binge then because i always binge when im with her. she keeps telling me that i look fine but i know that she is lying. shes just scared that ill be thinner than her again. which i always was till now..gooood i hate it.
well neways...
my plan:
work out work out work out
no meat, no butter, no sweets, no sugar, no fastfood, no white bread, no cheese, no fullfat milk...hmmm
allowed: salad, veggies, fruits, jogurt, water water water water water, green tea, yogi tea, weed so im able to fall asleep..:)

starving for perfection...pliiiiiiiz.